Hezikiah was a king in the Old Testament. He did things that pleased the Lord. One day a prophet told him to get ready because he was going to die. Hezikiah prayed that God would spare his life; He did. Later, a King from another country came and Hezikiah showed him all of wealth, the temple, all that he had. God did not approve of Hezikiah's display and Hezikiah died a horrible death.
The point I take from this story is God loves our prayers and will answer them. But when He makes it clear that His path is the best way and we continuously pray for something else, He may let it happen. The way we want is not the best. God's way, even though it could mean death or pain, is the best. He's trying to save us from ourselves.
Just like our own children, we know what is best for them. If they continue to ask and beg for something we will let them knowing the outcome will not be good.
I continue to pray for things I would like to have happen but I try to bookend that with whatever God's will is, will be the best for me.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Bathtub thoughts
I was in the bathtub this afternoon and was just floating and thinking. I was obviously inhaling and exhaling. As most of you know, when you inhale, the body rises; exhaling, it sinks.
It's the same with the Holy Spirit.
If we let Him in, He fills us, we rise, elevate to where He wants us.
If we push Him away, or exhale, we sink and drown.
My day is full of inhaling and exhaling, depending on what I want to do. How often do I really listen to what He wants me to do? I would love to say I inhale more than I exhale, but unfortunately, like our breathing, one accompanies the other.
The mountains and the valleys are connected. Even more confusing, when we do inhale it can be accompanied with a valley...that makes no sense to humans. We rationalize that if we do good work that equals a good outcome. Jesus is more concerned with our character than our satisfaction with ourselves.
It's the same with the Holy Spirit.
If we let Him in, He fills us, we rise, elevate to where He wants us.
If we push Him away, or exhale, we sink and drown.
My day is full of inhaling and exhaling, depending on what I want to do. How often do I really listen to what He wants me to do? I would love to say I inhale more than I exhale, but unfortunately, like our breathing, one accompanies the other.
The mountains and the valleys are connected. Even more confusing, when we do inhale it can be accompanied with a valley...that makes no sense to humans. We rationalize that if we do good work that equals a good outcome. Jesus is more concerned with our character than our satisfaction with ourselves.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Blessings
What are blessings? Children, home, car, money??? I don't see those as blessings; I'm grateful for these wonderful gifts but what is a blessing?
When the Holy Spirit is present, when my desires are replaced with His, when He whispers an answer to a question, this is a blessing.
Are we truly blessed to live in a place with little violence, many hospitals and doctors, the ability to buy whatever food we desire? Or, are we just replacing the need for Him to be with us on an everyday, every minute basis. The more we have the less we want Him to guide us and be there with us. The struggles and hurts are when He is most present.
No one likes pain or suffer; I don't know anyone who desires it. When can we see His face most clearly?
I find myself envious of those who struggle and suffer. That is where He is most vocal. My easy, content life is not where He is most present.
Please understand that we can not make our own drama, though. I believe that is frowned upon. The kind of struggle that I'm talking about is the hard, raw pain of the past, a new-found sickness or disease, the fear of the future because of a tainted past.
When the Holy Spirit is present, when my desires are replaced with His, when He whispers an answer to a question, this is a blessing.
Are we truly blessed to live in a place with little violence, many hospitals and doctors, the ability to buy whatever food we desire? Or, are we just replacing the need for Him to be with us on an everyday, every minute basis. The more we have the less we want Him to guide us and be there with us. The struggles and hurts are when He is most present.
No one likes pain or suffer; I don't know anyone who desires it. When can we see His face most clearly?
I find myself envious of those who struggle and suffer. That is where He is most vocal. My easy, content life is not where He is most present.
Please understand that we can not make our own drama, though. I believe that is frowned upon. The kind of struggle that I'm talking about is the hard, raw pain of the past, a new-found sickness or disease, the fear of the future because of a tainted past.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Beautiful Pain
Beautiful pain, also called God wanting us to meet Him in it. Pain can make us do things we would never do, hurt those that we love, say things that we want to take back later. If only we can reach to Him in our pain before we reach out to those we love. He will provide a buffer and let us see the purpose behind the pain.
The other, and sometimes, more dangerous are the people who keep their pain to themselves. No one knows how bad it is. This will disintegrate someone. Bitterness is the mask for pain.
Those that don't deal with their pain in healthy ways will continue living in the dark, aching cycle. It never changes because they don't truly understand how good the pain can be and what the use of it is.
The people I enjoy the most have experienced the most pain and know what use it serves. They share their experiences of pain and how God helped them to overcome. They are beautifully shaped by the pain and want that for others.
The other, and sometimes, more dangerous are the people who keep their pain to themselves. No one knows how bad it is. This will disintegrate someone. Bitterness is the mask for pain.
Those that don't deal with their pain in healthy ways will continue living in the dark, aching cycle. It never changes because they don't truly understand how good the pain can be and what the use of it is.
The people I enjoy the most have experienced the most pain and know what use it serves. They share their experiences of pain and how God helped them to overcome. They are beautifully shaped by the pain and want that for others.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy Happy Joy Joy
What is happy? What is joy? Aren't they interchangeable? We want to be happy, for our children to be happy, everyone around us to be happy but are we concerned about joy? Happy is an emotion, like when you find a great pair of shoes for 1/2 off or when your child gives you a big hug and says I love you for no reason. Joy is different. Joy is deeper, not on the surface. Joy is not shown with smiles and laughter all the time. It's...peace...contentment. Knowing for sure what you believe in is real and is there at all times.
Many people strive for joy but end up only happy. Happy is fleeting...joy is solid.
Many people strive for joy but end up only happy. Happy is fleeting...joy is solid.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Plights
I'm still amazed at the things my grandmother-in-law can do at 87. I'm also intrigued by the hardships she endured raising a family of five boys and one girl with almost no outside help, limited resources, etc.
I don't have much outside help either but we live in a wonderful neighborhood with great neighbors, babysitters virtually at my fingertips if needed, a grocery store that's a stone's throw away, and a housekeeper that works her tail off every two weeks. I'm still exhausted at the end of the day and I'm not sure my children appreciate anything they have or what we do for them.
I would love to hear from some people that raised children before me about how they managed and succeeded to raise responsible and considerate adults. Anyone?
We were in church today and at the end of the service, Pastor always asks visitors to raise their hands and introduce themselves. Today a lady and her teen son raised their hand and said they were from a town about three hours away and were stranded. The pastor told them in a quite voice to stay after the service. I watched for a minute to see if anyone would approach them and sadly no one did right away. We were sitting close so I went over to see if they needed anything. She said their car broke down and they were waiting on her brother to bring some money so they could get home. I asked where they slept last night and she said in their car. Someone approached them at that time and I stepped away. I found my husband and asked if they could stay at our home. He didn't think it was safe for our children so we left the church. On the way home I called Pastor and offered to take them a meal wherever they were staying. He said he had given them some money for gas and lunch so they could get home.
I can't imagine not being able to put gas in my car or buy lunch. We live in such a privileged area that sometimes other people's plights go unnoticed. I don't think God wants us to look for these people but to be aware when they come across our path and take action.
I don't have much outside help either but we live in a wonderful neighborhood with great neighbors, babysitters virtually at my fingertips if needed, a grocery store that's a stone's throw away, and a housekeeper that works her tail off every two weeks. I'm still exhausted at the end of the day and I'm not sure my children appreciate anything they have or what we do for them.
I would love to hear from some people that raised children before me about how they managed and succeeded to raise responsible and considerate adults. Anyone?
We were in church today and at the end of the service, Pastor always asks visitors to raise their hands and introduce themselves. Today a lady and her teen son raised their hand and said they were from a town about three hours away and were stranded. The pastor told them in a quite voice to stay after the service. I watched for a minute to see if anyone would approach them and sadly no one did right away. We were sitting close so I went over to see if they needed anything. She said their car broke down and they were waiting on her brother to bring some money so they could get home. I asked where they slept last night and she said in their car. Someone approached them at that time and I stepped away. I found my husband and asked if they could stay at our home. He didn't think it was safe for our children so we left the church. On the way home I called Pastor and offered to take them a meal wherever they were staying. He said he had given them some money for gas and lunch so they could get home.
I can't imagine not being able to put gas in my car or buy lunch. We live in such a privileged area that sometimes other people's plights go unnoticed. I don't think God wants us to look for these people but to be aware when they come across our path and take action.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The beginning...well sort of...
A blog is a funny thing. I've written for newspapers and magazines and both give you an assignment and you complete it. This is...strange but nice. No restraints or restrictions.
I guess I should introduce myself. I'm a married mother of four who forgets who she is most of the time. I am a mother and wife most of the time, which is wonderful but I do have many interests that I try to squeeze in.
For example, I would like to start running again. This is hard, though, because I have three children not in school full time. So, today, my oldest, who is seven, went to a friend's farm to play. The older two girls, five and three years old, went with my husband to run errands. The youngest, who is 11 months old, took a nap. This is the first time in a very long time I have had any quiet. We are coming off of four snow days from school. A little loco right now.
So, I decided I wanted to go for a run. I put the baby monitor on my hip and ran around the block for 30 minutes. I think I went around about 16 times. I wonder if my neighbors think I'm crazy. I really don't care. I came in, did a few push-ups and took a long shower. Got out of the shower and still no noise. It was heaven. I started to feel guilty that I was enjoying this so much. I usually want everyone in the same room but with Christmas break and the snow days I was DONE! Tonight I met some girlfriends for a rare wine, food and craft time. I'll post some pictures of what we did. It was so cute!
My husbands grandmother, who is 87 years old, has been staying with us since Christmas. One of her sons, who lives lives three hours away, picked her up yesterday. She'll be with he and his wife for the week then they will bring her back. We told her that she could stay as long as she wanted. She lives in the Northwest corner of Nebraska; it is so cold and icy there a lot of the winter. We live in Tennessee where the winter is not normally as severe.
She and I get along really well. My husband travels quite a bit and I don't think I realized how lonely I was when he is gone. She has so many stories about growing up in rural Nebraska. She did not have running water in the house until 1948! She has six children, five boys and one girl, all born at home except for the youngest boy who was born in the hospital. Amazing! I had one of my children without an epidural because we got to the hospital late; I now appreciate natural birth and how painful it is. She has endured so much tragedy and pain throughout her life. Her husband died over 10 years ago from cancer, most of her friends have either passed away or are in bad shape, she has lost at least two grandchildren and a daughter-in-law, she lived through a horrendous car accident, her father passed away when she was two years old and her mother raised nine children alone. So many other tragedies that I'm finding out about. She doesn't dwell on them but she does occasionally tear up when she's talking about them.
Life on Earth is painful and God tells us it will be. I guess it's like childbirth, it's painful so we know it's time to push forward, to hold that baby and experience the joy. Life here is painful and it will continue to be painful so we will want to push forward to be in Heaven someday.
I guess I should introduce myself. I'm a married mother of four who forgets who she is most of the time. I am a mother and wife most of the time, which is wonderful but I do have many interests that I try to squeeze in.
For example, I would like to start running again. This is hard, though, because I have three children not in school full time. So, today, my oldest, who is seven, went to a friend's farm to play. The older two girls, five and three years old, went with my husband to run errands. The youngest, who is 11 months old, took a nap. This is the first time in a very long time I have had any quiet. We are coming off of four snow days from school. A little loco right now.
So, I decided I wanted to go for a run. I put the baby monitor on my hip and ran around the block for 30 minutes. I think I went around about 16 times. I wonder if my neighbors think I'm crazy. I really don't care. I came in, did a few push-ups and took a long shower. Got out of the shower and still no noise. It was heaven. I started to feel guilty that I was enjoying this so much. I usually want everyone in the same room but with Christmas break and the snow days I was DONE! Tonight I met some girlfriends for a rare wine, food and craft time. I'll post some pictures of what we did. It was so cute!
My husbands grandmother, who is 87 years old, has been staying with us since Christmas. One of her sons, who lives lives three hours away, picked her up yesterday. She'll be with he and his wife for the week then they will bring her back. We told her that she could stay as long as she wanted. She lives in the Northwest corner of Nebraska; it is so cold and icy there a lot of the winter. We live in Tennessee where the winter is not normally as severe.
She and I get along really well. My husband travels quite a bit and I don't think I realized how lonely I was when he is gone. She has so many stories about growing up in rural Nebraska. She did not have running water in the house until 1948! She has six children, five boys and one girl, all born at home except for the youngest boy who was born in the hospital. Amazing! I had one of my children without an epidural because we got to the hospital late; I now appreciate natural birth and how painful it is. She has endured so much tragedy and pain throughout her life. Her husband died over 10 years ago from cancer, most of her friends have either passed away or are in bad shape, she has lost at least two grandchildren and a daughter-in-law, she lived through a horrendous car accident, her father passed away when she was two years old and her mother raised nine children alone. So many other tragedies that I'm finding out about. She doesn't dwell on them but she does occasionally tear up when she's talking about them.
Life on Earth is painful and God tells us it will be. I guess it's like childbirth, it's painful so we know it's time to push forward, to hold that baby and experience the joy. Life here is painful and it will continue to be painful so we will want to push forward to be in Heaven someday.
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